Good evening everyone! I am so glad that you came to join me tonight, for another visit, at the Heart to Heart Blog! I hope that you have had a nice weekend and for those of you, who may be experiencing the blunt of this Government shutdown…just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!
One thing you should always remember about me; is that I’m far from being a perfect person. Even though I serve God full-time, I face similar struggles and weaknesses in my life…just as you do. As some of you may know…lately, I have been experiencing some pretty bad chronic pain. For the longest time, it has been in my bad legs; but now I also seem to have arthritis in my right shoulder and fingers and the chronic problems in my knees seem to be now affecting my feet.
You know…pain can be one of the most difficult things to overcome emotionally. I have been going thru this tough bout of pain now, for around 5-6 weeks. The nights have been horrible at times; but no matter what, I would continue to press on; because I truly believe that when we press on; then we are showing the enemy that his tactics aren’t going to succeed.
Just like you and any other human being, we can only seem to go so long on pain or any other difficult moment in our lives, until we just can’t take it anymore and that is what happened to me today. Moments like these do show that I need to become even stronger in the Lord, but I also have to accept that I’m not equal to God and I definitely cannot walk these hard and difficult paths alone.
Last night, as I was finishing my day, my pain got to the place, where I didn’t want to get up because I felt like I could barely walk. The only reason why the night went a little bit better, was because I stayed off my feet; but by this morning, I was feeling the blunt of everything again. I refuse to be on narcotics and instead, I’ve chosen to lean on God and go the natural route…the best I can.
Anyways…when I came out of my office this morning, it was time to prep Sunday dinner. My husband came out into the kitchen to see how I was doing and to visit a little. I had to go out into the garage and get a few things out of the fridge that was out there and bring them in for dinner and when I returned, he mentioned that maybe I should let him get those things and for me to stay out of the cooler air. Finally the breaking point came and so did the tears because I was at the place, where it didn’t matter what I would try for the pain because nothing was helping. From there, I blew up and was even questioning God, as to why He would allow such suffering, for so long. I guess that I just needed to vent and even my husband agreed that there has to be a breaking point at times, where we just need to let go of everything.
You know…the power of evil can have a strong grip on us at times. It can make us feel as if we will never escape the moments that are just so overbearing. The enemy has a way of using a tactic that wears and wears on us, until we can no long handle the weight of our circumstance…so we fall; but tonight, I have come to see that even though we may think that we have failed God and ourselves…these moments of weakness only becomes a chance for us to fall down; so Christ can enter and rise up in our place…and be the strength and hope we need, during difficult times, such as these.
You know…when I grew up, I had a difficult time understanding the true meaning of love because the love that I experienced came thru anger or a beating with a belt or weeping willow switch. In fact, my mother used to tell me that the reason why they did this was because they loved me…but I couldn’t understand that theory at the time. All I could think of at the moment; was how could this ever be love.
Now, as I face these very difficult times with pain…I’ve come to see that I’ve been relating my situation right now, in the same way, to the so-called love that was shown to me as a child. In other words…how could this be God’s way of loving me?
While sitting here this evening, God took me back to a song that I learned as a child and some of the lyrics go like this… “Jesus loves me! This I know, for the Bible tells me so; little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong.”
You know…God understands and loves us, even thru our weaknesses. He knows that there will be moments of weakness; that are just too hard for us to hang onto; so He comes to us as a Father and takes us as His children, into arms that can become strength for us, during the hard and difficult times. I guess we just need to truly come to see; that His love is a love that cannot be compared to any other so-called love on this earth.
Tonight, I would like to thank you for letting me vent because I am going away from this writing, with a new hope and a better outlook on my circumstance. Life definitely isn’t easy and we are definitely not perfect. No matter who we are or what we do…we all need Jesus and I thank Him, for a love that will walk beyond my weaknesses, to love me anyways and share a perfect strength with me; that will keep me standing and moving forward in life.
May God also bless you with His loving Spirit tonight and may you always experience the true love He has for you! Take care and I hope you will come back tomorrow night, as I share my day…along with the goodness of a great…loving and powerful God…heart to heart!
Blessings so much on your night!
It’s Always & Only Because of Him…