 As I walked through the deepest and darkest moments of pain and heartache…moments that I never thought I’d ever experience in my life; God made a promise to me…and spoke to my spirit and said… “Diane, I will bring you through this time in your life.” At the moment, I was so caught up, in the hurt and shame of a past sexual abuse; that I couldn’t even begin to see a road that would take me out of all these painful moments of heartache. As God began to slowly open up new avenues for me to walk down, I began to once more see the light, of a brand new day.
In Isaiah 43:19, we read… “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” You know…what seems impossible to us; is never impossible to God. Maybe we don’t have the strength or knowledge, as to how we are going to escape these painful moments in our lives…but God does. Through my own painful past, I came to eventually see that God was out to create something new within my life…something that would walk me away from the past moments of deep pain and heartache, while leading me on, to newly created paths. As I began to walk out of my problems, I began to see that my God could do anything…even the things that I felt were impossible at the time. No matter what you are walking through right now; just know that nothing is impossible or too hard, for a mighty and powerful God to do. Where you don’t see a way…He does…and He will use the difficult moments in your life, to make all things new!
0 Comments
 Out of all the pain and deep heartache I’ve experienced in my life; I think the hardest thing I went through, was to feel as if my circumstances were slowly destroying me…which after a while, makes a person want to give up and just throw in the towel and quit.
Little did I know…during these difficult times; that God was allowing me to die spiritually, with all the pain and suffering of the past; so I could gain Him instead. You know…it’s so easy to turn it around the other way and not even notice that God is at work in our lives, while facing difficult times of affliction; but if we were to slow down and not allow our circumstances to overwhelm us; then I’m sure that we would clearly see how God is replacing the broken down areas of our lives, with Himself. One of the verses that truly gave me hope, while at rock bottom; is found in Philippians 1:21, which reads… “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” In other words…if we ever want to gain God, in a greater way; then first, we need to get rid of the rubbish that is keeping us from experiencing the fullness of God. Sometimes that process can be painful to experience; but when we truly know what God is up to…and we have a heart of trust…knowing that God is definitely got control; then we can let go of these broken down areas of our lives and make room for God, to move in completely. Right now, you may be feeling as if your situation is getting worse, rather than better. May I encourage you to not lose hope…or to lose heart; but rather know that God is at work in your life…and even though it may not be the way you expect it to be…God knows what He’s doing…and in the end, I’m sure that you will come to see that He was only making more room, for you to experience His very best for your life!  There was a time in my life, when I felt as if I was in the deepest and darkest pit ever…for I had allowed my problems to put me there. As I attempted to climb out on my own, I began to see that I wasn’t strong enough to make it. After finally giving in and calling out to Jesus…He did hear my hearts cry…and from there, He came and rescued me.
A few of the Bible verses that best describe my experience; are found in Psalm 40:1-4…and we read… “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. 3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. 4 Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.” I learned a very hard lesson, at one time in my life…and I probably remained in that pit of despair, much longer than what I should have…and it was all because I had chosen to fix my own problems…my way. I think we all tend to do this…and why? Because we just want to hurry and escape the pain and deep heartache that they have brought into our lives; but may I say one thing today…don’t go it alone because you will soon see…just like me; that you are not strong enough, to climb out of such a deep pit of despair. Through lessons learned, I came to see that Jesus was the only way out of that pit…and once He took hold of me and lifted me back up to stable ground; that is when He truly gave me a new song within the heart…a song that kept me pointed in His direction, rather than my own. One thing we need to realize today…and that is how much Satan is reaching out to us, with deceptive lies…lies that keep us distant from God, while remaining closer to ourselves and the problems we’re facing. No matter what you’re going through…and no matter how deep your pit of despair may seem…don’t attempt to climb out of these problems on your own; but rather, humble yourself and admit that you are powerless; so a powerful God can step in and do the work that you are not strong enough to achieve on your own.  Do we truly understand what God’s word can be for us…especially during the difficult times of life? Today, I would like to share two special Bible verses with you, from Isaiah 55:10-11…and we read… “The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. 11 It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”
When I was younger, I wasn’t much of a reader and I struggled in school, just to do the basics; but those times changed, as I went through some very hard times in my life. In fact…God’s word actually became a survival manual in my life…and I truly believe that I not only survived the pain and deep heartache in my life through Jesus Christ; but also through His word. The Bible verses above are saying that just as the rain and snow produce water for the seed; so does God’s word produce much within our lives…and just think…wherever our hearts take hold of His word; these words will continue to produce and sustain us through the hard and difficult times of life. Today, when I look at highlighted verses and ruffled up pages that are barely holding their own, within my Bible; I think back to a time, when those treasured words kept me pointed in the right direction and helped me to discover hope…and even more…saved my life! No matter what you may be facing; let God’s word comfort your heart and allow each word to penetrate deep within the heart and become the true and lasting remedy, for whatever is ailing you right now!  We all need God in our lives but there’s always a time when we need Him even more…a time when we need to enter the presence of One, who can shelter us from the moments that tend to weaken and discourage us. Sometimes, I think I do my best writing, when I’m hurting. It’s as if my difficult moments take me down to a humbled place, where it’s just God and myself…a place where my heart not only connects with His words of wisdom but a place where His heart touches mine in a very special way, which is one of the best things that I have ever experienced in my life. To me, it’s as if a touch of heaven has come down and taken me away from the cares and problems of the present moment.
Today, as I’m sitting here in my office, I am seeking the presence of the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m learning more each day that I need my good friend every minute, hour and second of the day. As I sit here, I think back to the very special moments that He and I have spent together. As I reread quotes and thoughts that He has shared with my heart over the years, I have come to see them as a lifeline that has kept me safe and secure and completely connected to Him. Today has been a trying day for me, as my health hasn’t been doing that well but despite the weak moments of pain and difficulty, I have come to see that these moments aren’t a time to give into the problem and allow it to win. Instead, I choose to rise above the pain and the difficult moments; that God may continue to reign triumphant in my life. When we can lay ourselves to the side, during the difficult times and continue to pursue God; then we have truly discovered a way to rise above despair; which in turn, allows our weaknesses to become strengthened, through a God that is great in might and power. Even as I sit here today, I am amazed at the words that God is giving me to write you. To be honest with you…I almost decided to not write you today but there was something nudging me deep within and what amazes me the most, is how God can even speak to our hearts, during the weak moments of a day. You know…we all have the same God living within us and He can work with you…just as He does with me but first, we must be willing to leave the wallowing hole of despair, to enter a place; where instead of communing with our problems, we begin to commune with God. When we choose to walk in this direction; then God will begin to fill our hearts…minds and spirits, with a special touch that will truly let us know that His presence is with us.  I think that one of the hardest things I’ve had to experience in my life…was what I saw, as the loss of life itself. There are different ways we can experience loss…like for instance…the loss of a loved one or the loss of material things, etc.; but the loss I experienced in my life, had at one time made me feel, as if I had lost everything, except for the breath that I breathed.
From a young age on up…it seemed like I just kept having things taken away from me…to the place, where I felt in a world of my own. As a young girl, I sat on the sidelines of life, while my siblings and friends ran and enjoyed a life that I was not allowed to experience, due to multiple knee surgeries and dislocations. Then, as I grew up…the chance of having children was taken away from me…and then the loss of my right knee, as now, I walk with a rod. For many years, I questioned God, as to why my life was headed in a direction of heartache and loss…and one day, He led me to a Bible verse in Matthew 10:39, which reads…“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” As I look back on those painful moments in my life; I no longer feel, what I felt at that time because I have truly come to understand this verse…and not only understand it; but live it; for God was allowing each moment of loss, to be filled with Himself; that I may find the life that He had planned for me, since the day I was born. Any kind of loss we experience can be a very painful time in our lives; but when we look beyond the loss…we come to see that God isn’t allowing us to lose out on life completely; but rather, He is allowing us to find Him and all He longs for us to experience in this life…so never allow loss to defeat you and cause you to lose out on life itself!  As I was thumbing my way through the Psalms today, I came across a chapter that I used to read quite often, while going through the worst of my past pain and heartache…and I would like to start out, by reading Psalm 13:1, which says… “How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide they face from me?”
I will tell you one thing…this was my verse at one time and I could clearly relate to David, in every part of this verse…because there were many moments, when I would cry out to God and say… “Oh God…how long will you forget me and hide your face from me?” I think we all experience these thoughts, while facing a difficult time in our lives. These overwhelming moments definitely have a way of not only making us feel alone…but forgotten and abandoned by God. Overtime, I came to see that God had never abandoned me; but rather, I had separated myself from Him, by becoming deeply involved with my problems. It seemed like when I was desperate…I would cry out and beg for His help…but at the moment, when I felt nothing…that is when I would only give in and turn back to the problem. Now is the time, when we need to come to a place, where we can truly say… “But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.” Psalm 13:5-6 When we can react to our circumstances in this way; then we are also truly placing our trust in God…and no matter what attempts to take us down; we will always have the full assurance…that in God’s timing, He will walk us out of these moments of distress, which will help us to keep pursuing and moving forward, rather than turning back once more to the problem.  As a young teenager, I felt as if I lived in a world of my own. The home I grew up in was dysfunctional and many times, I would find myself…with arms folded, in the windowsill of my bedroom…just looking out into thin air…not even knowing what I was looking at. Over time, I began to look into God’s word...with a heart that seemed desperate, for any piece of hope that I could hold tightly to.
One day, as I was thumbing my way through God’s word; I was led to a Bible verse in Philippians 3:8, which reads…“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,” At that young of an age, I never really understood that verse; but later, as I became an adult; I not only came to understand this verse; but also live it. As each painful moment came and as each loving desire left, God was taking all the brokenness in my life, and He was piecing it together, so I could have the heart that He desired...a heart that could understand and care for others who live in despair. Many times, we wonder why God allows us to go through these overwhelming times in our lives…just as I experienced, as a young girl; but now as I look back on my life; I see the reason, for each loss and painful moment…and that was so I could have the heart that would be needed for this ministry. One thing I truly came to see, during this long and drawn out time in my life; is that God never leaves an empty space in our hearts…for He’s just moving things around and taking out what isn’t good for us; that He may fill it with more of Himself…so never give up on God!  One thing I truly enjoy about writing; is that when I write, I am in the presence of One that holds so much power and wisdom and when I listen for His voice within my spirit, rather than trying to put my own words together; then His words become words of hope that can touch and heal a hurting soul.
Some of you may not know this but my gift for writing came over 16 years ago. After coming through many days of pain and heartache, a day came, when I began to feel a very special touch from God. It was as if my heart had been brought down to a different level, where I could feel and experience things around me, in a much deeper way. When I get alone with God and open myself up to Him; that is when His words begin to ring loud and clear within my thoughts. So many times, we go through long periods of pain or heartache and feel as though these moments will never serve any great purpose in life but I have come to see, through a lifetime of brokenness that when I open myself up to God; it’s amazing how God can use these broken moments, to not only minister to myself but to others around me. For the longest time, I have come to see that the word “disabled” doesn’t mean “not able” in God’s vocabulary. When we can give someone a reassuring smile, while we are facing our own pain; then God is being seen. When we can rise above our own problem to reach out and help someone else in need; then God is being seen. So many times, we fall prey to our problems, rather than allowing God to work through the problem, which only leads us to a place of needless suffering. When we can allow our weaknesses to reveal a strength that isn’t normally seen in this world; then we are allowing others to experience a strong God, which in turn, will open up an opportunity for them to reach out to a God, who can work in their life too.  Waiting for God to work is not always easy. In our human mind, we want Him to work right away; so why doesn’t He respond, right at the moment we need Him? In Psalm 40:1-3, it says…“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. (2) He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. (3)He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.”
As I look back on my life, I wish that I would have sought God’s purpose more in my life, rather than just focusing on every little detail of the problem…because this could have saved me a lot of needless suffering. Even though I knew God at the time; I hadn’t quite learned to connect with Him and stay in sync with Him. I guess that this is one of the reasons why we go through these struggles…so we can truly see how much we need God in our lives. Doesn’t it seem that all we think about, during a difficult situation; is to just be free from these moments? I know that this was a lot of what I thought about at the time too. Our minds seem to be more intrigued with a way out, rather than finding the reason or purpose for such moments but we must remember that God never allows anything to enter our lives, unless He can use it for His benefit and for ours…and as time went by; this is what I truly came to see! A difficult situation can make us feel as though we are stuck in the mud, with no way out. We can feel as though we are slowly sinking in the quick sand of our problems, while we panic at where we are headed with the problem, rather than where God is leading us. If we can remember that God can NEVER be defeated, then hope will rise up within us and help us to focus on His purpose for this difficult moment that we may be experiencing at the time. No matter what may come our way, we have to believe with God…that all things bad will come to an end and as God exchanges our weakness for Himself and His great power; then we will not only view Him at work in our lives but others will begin to view the power of a great and mighty God too. One thing I truly believe; is that no matter what God allows into our lives; He will always use it, so that He can be seen…and this is the hope that I came to see and experience, as I began to walk in sync with God, rather than my problems. You know…I have come to see; that the only way we are going to be able to disconnect ourselves from a problem…to reconnect ourselves with God, is to experience moments of weakness; that He may rise up in the place of our weakness, while displaying the greatest power ever known to man. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
November 2018
Categories |
RSS Feed
