Hello everyone…I’m writing later this evening because it’s been a rougher day for me. This evening, as I sat in the living room…talking with my husband, I began to break down and truly pour my heart out before him and God.
Some of you may not fully understand my life; but it’s been about 50 years; that I have suffered with two bad legs…and lately, it’s really been out of control at times. As I look back on my life, it seems that all I’ve lived; is a life of disability. I have truly experienced the loss of many things…and lately, it has felt as if I have been living in a prison cell of pain. I guess that sometimes, we just need to release the feelings that are attempting to take us down for good and expose them, for what Satan is longing for them to truly be…and that is what I’ve been doing this evening.
Like I’ve said before…there have been many Bible verses that have touched my life; but the ones that I began with…many years back, are found in Philippians 3:7-8, which reads… “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8) Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,”
The thing I was thinking on the most this evening was this…if it wasn’t for the things that I have gained through knowing Christ, while experiencing these moments of suffering; then I would definitely have given up on life many years ago. In fact, as my husband and I were talking tonight; God was taking me back and reminding me, as to what I have gained through much loss and pain.
About several years ago, I met up with an old girlfriend; that I had grown up with in our neighborhood. When I was a young girl…facing many surgeries…dislocations and pain, I wasn’t always being treated right by her and others that were supposed to be my friends. For the longest time in my life, I felt so broken and hurt; as I watched her and others live a normal life, while I sat on the sidelines of life. Anyways…when I recently caught up with her again…she was so happy to see what I was doing through these difficult times in my life. As I talked with her more, I began to see that what I had counted as loss, at that time in my life; was only so I could gain more later…more of Christ and what He longed for me to do for Him.
Even though my heart sees life a lot different now; that doesn’t always mean that it’s easy to get through the day to day pain. Most days…I am upbeat and my normal self…but I guess it’s the moments, when life just takes a toll on a person; that truly attempts to bring them down…down to a place, where Satan can use the weakness against them. The only thing Satan doesn’t realize; is that my God is stronger than my weakness…and He always seems to be the One who lifts me back to my feet.
One thing I can tell you tonight; is that these hard and difficult moments I’ve faced…for so many years of my life, have truly made me long for heaven. Many times, I stop and think…soon a time will come, when the memories of a painful past will be no more…and the pain and scars that have racked this body will be no more…for all the old things in my life will pass away forever, as my friend…Jesus Christ, will make all things new.
I guess what keeps me going...knowing that there is hope, in a place called heaven…and that these painful moments won’t last forever. If I didn’t have that hope; then I would probably never give life the time of day…but you see, I’m on a journey and eventually this journey is going to walk me into heaven…and one thing I can tell you for sure; is that we never get there any sooner, by sitting along the wayside. Today may have been a rough day; but my God is there…and heaven awaits me…and that is all I need!
Thanks for letting me share my heart with you tonight! Take care & I will see you soon!
Goodnight & God bless!
It’s Always & Only Because of Him…
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